Should he stay or should he go now?

Potty training has thus far yielded very little success.  The ratio of success (3) to failure (15) is not pretty.  Nana claims it is because I am hindering her potty training style.

So Nana has offered to take Casey for a week and actually potty train him.  This is an appealing option on so many levels.  First because I’d be able to have a week at home without the boys.  There are closets to clean out, floors to vacuum, lawn to mow, blogs to write (ha), and I can do all this with ease if Nana has both boys. 

But there’s a down-side too.

See, my method of potty training is full of positive reinforcements, M&Ms (the little guy is crazy about “Chockchit” and he doesn’t get chocolate ever), and lots of gushing praise about Casey becoming a “big boy.”  But this has not yielded any success.

Nana’s method of potty training – known to work in a week – takes a different approach.  Shaming.  Spanking.  It isn’t pretty.  But it works.

So, should he stay or should he go now?

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7 Responses to “Should he stay or should he go now?”

  1. Chicory Says:

    I have lots of opinions on this subject, but in the end the decision rests with what lives in your heart on the matter. You know your son best, so only you’ll be able to tell if this is really going to work with his personality, or if it’ll just cause more stubbornness and regressions.

    I do want to point out that the physical capability to be traditionally toilet trained (as opposed to the kind of diaper-freeness that comes with Elimination Communication) develops sometime between the ages of 18 months and 4 years old, and he could just not be there yet. How are his large and small motor skills in general? How well he controls his other muscles is an indicator of how well he can control the muscles related to elimination functions.

    The experienced blogger in me cringed when I saw that you were actually soliciting parenting advice on your blog. People giving parenting advice can be really mean. If I was just mean, I’m sorry. I still hope you come to the bbq tonight… you can drown your sorrows in a rum-filled smoothy…

  2. Carrie Says:

    Oh, hell…let Nana beat on him for a week. He’ll live and you’ll be done with diapers. It’s a win-win.

  3. Valentino Says:

    Do you need me to start help packing??? Let me know…Have fun at Nana’s Casey…

  4. Amy Says:

    I agree with Chicory that you know your son best. What worked for our daughters did not always work for our son. He has a twin sister and when we finally decided to go all out she took to potty training like a champ. He did well in the beginning and then back slid. We had to start all over with him and, though he still has the occasional poop accident he is doing well.

    BTW- we did the bare bottom method with all 3. Just stripped them down for about 3-4 days then started with just underwear and progressed to fully clothed. We did positive reinforcement (num nums). With our son, when he back slid, we tried taking away his favorite toys and it seemed to have not effect. In the end going back to bare bottom worked the best.

    Listen to your heart– mother knows best.

  5. DOUG Says:

    every kid is diffrent any any one that says thay have a shore fire way for potty training only trained one or two there is one thing i no for shore is you can’t get up one morning say this is a good day for it then tomorow say i tryed hard yesterday i will give her hell tomorow . then who is the back slider ?

    good luck uncle Doug

  6. Mikey Says:

    I think I’m going to follow the others and go with follow your heart. I potty trained in 3 days according to my family (giggling the entire way), however I was put to potty training once I ripped off my diaper and said ‘Wet!’

    Conversely, my youngest cousin took an entire year to potty train.

    Evidently, I set the ‘age’ bar too high and my grandmother expected conformity to that bar from all of her grandchildren, something they were not going to give her.

    Are any of us scarred from our experience, potentially no? Could there be some sort of hidden thought in our souls of inadequacy because we didn’t conform to social norms by not potty training soon enough, or maybe there’s pride in the fact that we potty trained early…who knows, except our psychologists. As day to day functioning people, we’re pretty well balanced, so I think overall a ‘bad’ potty training experience didn’t hurt us.

    Just my thoughts from this side of the mountain!

  7. Keri Says:

    Since I already know what you decided, I say don’t do it. Imagine walking away from him thinking…’bye buddy. i’m leaving you here so grandma can spank your butt every time you pee.’ You know you would’ve turned around in Vernal or Juab or whatever the nearest town is…
    🙂

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