My son’s a creative genius, but he wouldn’t lie

If you read Chicory then you know that she’s accused my beautiful red-headed wee-angel of zipping her Sassa in a suitcase.  Let me just set the record straight.  What happened is that Sassa crawled into the suitcase by her own free will and then zipped herself into the suitcase.  That’s right.  She reached her arm outside of the suitcase and then zipped herself in.  That’s why the last two inches weren’t zipped.  See, she had to get her arm back inside the suitcase.  That is the story that Riley relayed to me.  Who ya gonna believe? 


Apparently Riley has added to his repertoire.  Not only does he ignore me, refuse to listen, bounce constantly, lose his stuff, be mean to Casey, but he’s added in the recent addition of lying. 


I feel like I can be slap happy about the incident because it turned out alright, but the truth is that I had no idea my son would lie.  Some of the things he’s admitted to are so bizarre that I just couldn’t fathom him lying or he would have for sure lied about why he needs to wash his hands for the 3rd time before going to bed some nights. (don’t ask)   Suddenly our Sunday night turned into an intervention.  The truth was uncovered (which I won’t launch into since Chicory’s rendition matches perfectly.)  The punishments were dished out.  (We took away electronics – radio, video games, television and you’d think we took away his firstborn the way he carried on.)  And then I gave him the opportunity to come clean on any other lies he’s told.  I promised there wouldn’t be any additional punishments but I wanted to know if he’s lied about other things.


He then launched into a list of lies that he’s spouted for the last 3 months. 


Remember when the teacher asked who did it… Remember when you thought I told Casey about dying.  Remember when I told you I didn’t play with a toy gun at so and so’s house.  Remember when you said I couldn’t eat chips and then you couldn’t find the chips…The list went on and he recounted a fair number of lies along with the timeline and the context.  The kid remembered each and every one.  When I asked him why he’s been telling lies he replied “because I didn’t want to go to time out.”  Then he asked, “Do secrets count as lies?”


Suddenly worried that not only does he lie, but he also has secrets, I replied, “Yes.  Secrets are just lies that you haven’t told yet.”  (I’m very proud of that quick reply.)


So he launched into his secrets.  Thankfully they were a 6-year-old’s secrets.  My favorite was that he broke up with his girlfriend because “she has a bathroom problem.”  She’s the only one at his school who’s allowed to run in the hallway because she has to get to the bathroom fast.  And sometimes she doesn’t make it.   He admitted that he broke up with her because he was worried if they got married and they slept in the same bed that she might pee on him.  He went on, “But then I felt bad that I wasn’t a free thinker and it’s not her fault that she has a bathroom problem but then I decided that I’m just six-years-old and that is too young to worry about marrying someone who might pee on you so we’re still friends but we don’t send each other hearts anymore.”  


I was starting to regret my stance on secrets.  We had talked for 2 hours.  He cried for almost an hour because he wouldn’t be able to watch TV for the week.  Then he cried for another hour because he let us down.  Finally, exhausted, and midnight we went to sleep. 


Only to be awakened at 4 AM to….

                                                            To Be Continued


3 Responses to “My son’s a creative genius, but he wouldn’t lie”

  1. Kelly B Says:

    OH… NO Fair with the to be continued…

    We also have a young liar in the house… everything from “i really brushed my teeth” to “i have no idea why the cat just screamed and ran from my room swatting at my ankles” to “i know i am sitting right in front of you and you just watched me break this toy, but im still going to ask you to fix it because this is how i picked it up off of my floor”

    good times.

  2. Carrie Says:

    My perfect angels have never told a single lie so I can’t relate to that part of the story.

    Zipping his friend into a suitcase wasn’t the brightest thing to do but one day you’ll have to share with your readers some of the stories from OUR childhood!

  3. starrhillgirl Says:

    I’m sorry about the lies – although they are not entirely inappropriate for his age. Not to excuse it. But just to make you feel a little better?

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