I wouldn’t want to be Riley’s face

Riley came home from school last week with his first “shiner.” Look closely.  You can see it, just under his left eye.  He and a friend bonked while running. 

Riley said, “J.  He’s a good reader.  But he isn’t a very good runner.  HE LACKS FOCUS.  And he stopped right in front of me and I ran into his elbow.”  I worry about anyone who Riley refers to as lacking focus.  It has got to be bad if Riley’s pointing it out.

His Auntie Carrie responded, “In a traffic situation the car that runs into the car in the front of it is to blame.” 

Riley responded, “It’s different when you run.  I was definitely innocent.”

In the car Auntie Carrie and I decided we’d have Riley use his shiner to trick Mama Kim.  Riley pretended that he got into a “fistfight” because he wanted Obama to win and his friend wanted McCain to win. 

Then Riley went on about how, “I had to hit him because I want Obama because Obama wants peace.”  It was a world class performance.  He had Kim going. 

“Let me get this straight,” she inquired, “You HIT HIM BECAUSE YOU WANT PEACE?” 

“PSYCH.  Just Kidding.  HA HA HA HA HA.”

Kim admitted later that she was going to have a hard time disciplining him because she was perhaps secretly proud in a messed up way.  I mean if your kid is going to get into a fist fight at least let it be about something like peace.  I think she was laughing underneath the WE DON’T DO VIOLENCE IN THIS FAMILY exterior.


7 Responses to “I wouldn’t want to be Riley’s face”

  1. Kelly Says:

    he is too damn cute

  2. Kelly Says:

    and as a side note… i cant just move to utah and live in the basement… i have a family with me… no job…but a family and a farm-load of animals that your family is allergic to….

  3. qweirdutah Says:

    well – maybe YOU AND THE FAMILY – could move into the house next door.
    with your (non) hypoallergenic animals..

  4. Your other sister Says:

    I can only picture Kim’s twisted wicked grin on her face while Riley was telling his story. You got to love parenthood.

  5. Your other sister Says:

    Now that Riley has a shiner he could be a black eyed pea for Halloween.

  6. Carrie Says:

    Riley did a great job teasing Kim. At first she wasn’t buying it because of his “shit-eating” grin but he was able to work it into the lie so overall, a pretty good performance.

  7. Will Says:

    I believed the story when he told me although I hear he did a better job on Kim.

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