Everything he needs to know he learned in preschool?

I picked Casey up from preschool yesterday only to find all the children in his room hiding under the table.  At first it was pretty cute. 

Toddler, “Hurry, we have to hide.”

Casey, “It won’t find us now.”

Toddler, “shhh.  shhh.  It will hear us.”

I look over at the teacher who is sitting on her ass watching the children play.  She looks up at me, smiles, and says, “They think the room is on fire so they are hiding under the table.”

“EXCUSE ME!”  I must have looked as bewildered, frustrated, angry, and judgemental as I felt.  I nearly had a come-apart right then and there.

“What?”

“They are just playing.”

I immediately went over to the table, got down on my hands and knees, looked the toddlers in the eye and stated, “You cannot hide from fire.  If there is a fire, you must go outside.”

Toddler, “We are hiding from the fire.”

Me, “You CANNOT hide from the fire.  The fire will find you.  If there is a fire, you MUST go outside.” 

I picked up Casey and started gathering up his things and it was the first time I noticed that Riley was also addressing the children in a very Rainman-like soliloquy.

Riley, “…If you catch on fire you stop drop and roll.  If you are in a building with a fire you have you get down low to avoid the smoke.  If you cannot get to the door you go out the window.  If the window won’t open, its okay to break the window.  Your mom won’t be mad at you if you break it.  If you don’t know how, you get a very hard object like my baseball trophy and you break the window with the trophy.  If there is a lot of broken glass you can get a blanket to put between yourself and the window.  I keep a stepping stool in my bedroom so I can reach the window.  If you can get to a fire extinguisher you can use it but only to get out not to fight the fire.  If you try to win the fire you will die.  If you are in a fire you should worry about smoke too.  Smoke kills more people than fire does.  If you are stuck in your room and you are trying to break your window you can put clothes or a blanket under the door to keep the smoke from coming in.  And you should feel a door and if it is hot you shouldn’t go out of it.  You should have a safe place to meet your family.  In my family we go to the neighbors across the street. And you need to know how to call 911.  Oh and everybody needs a smoke detector.  So if you want to hide from something dangerous, you should play earthquake.  You can hide under the table then. ”

As I dragged the two of them out of the room I asked Riley, “Where did you learn all that?”

He responded, “Preschool.”

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7 Responses to “Everything he needs to know he learned in preschool?”

  1. Chicory Says:

    that would freak me out, too.

  2. Kaye Says:

    You were FAR too calm with that teacher. Looking for a new pre-school? Good hell.

  3. Jazz Says:

    Everything I need to know I learned at the library!

  4. Carrie Says:

    Oops…the above post was actually from me (using Jazz’s computer).

  5. the other sister Says:

    I love the way Riley thinks. If you want to hide, you can hide from an earthquake.

  6. Rachel Says:

    I think Riley is a cute, Smart kid.
    Good for him.

  7. Kelly Says:

    only Riley can stop forest fires…

    🙂

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