vaginas and dicks and boobs oh my

I know you’ve all been on edge, waiting to see what would happen to my vagina ever since mid-October when I first chronicled her plight in the war Vagina Vs. Insurance.  Well you’ll be happy to know that I WON.  Or, more importantly, my insurance has (wo)manned-up to pay the bills.  ALL OF THEM.  So this lesbian is so proud of her vagina today.  How she fought for justice and prevailed.  Okay, now I’m just being silly.  And since my dad (and Uncle Doug) read this blog, I should really start talking about something else. 

Since vaginas are off limits.  Let’s talk about dicks.

In this case, a particular dick.  Chris Buttars is up to his old antics again.   Slamming it to gays and blacks, while fun, must not bring Ole Buttars the joy it used to.  So now, he’s picking on all non-Christians.  Jews.  Muslims.  Atheists.  Wiccans.  Don’tcha know, we’re a Christian nation? (As if we could forget it!)

 According to a trib article which you can link to here, Buttars is sponsoring legislation that would encourage retailers to use the phrase “Merry Christmas” and to avoid the generic “Happy Holidays.”  This bill “would encourage the use of ‘Merry Christmas,'” Buttars said of the non-binding statement that is still being drafted. “I’m sick of the Christmas wars — we’re a Christian nation and ought to use the word.” 

His latest tactic earned him The Worst Person in the World award on Keith Olbermann last night.   I know, I know.  Too many links.  But click on that one.  Its worth it.  

And since we’ve talked about vaginas and dicks in this post, I figured I ought to close with boobs.  Casey’s most recent favorite snack is Pirate’s Booty.  The name is bad enough when correctly pronounced.  All it is really is puffed popcorn covered in white cheddar cheese.  Really pretty good.  I mean, it doesn’t suck. (I miss my political maven.)  Anyway, Casey can’t quite say Pirate’s Booty.  He calls it “Pirate’s booby.”  We passed the stuff while in Costco the other day and he wanted some.  Since I had just picked up two giant sized bags on the last trip to Costco, I told him no.  He then proceeded to scream, “I want booby.  I want booby!  I want BOOBY NOW!” 

As strangers stared, I figured I’d just go with the flow.  I replied, “Nope kiddo.  It’s time you get your milk from a cup.”

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7 Responses to “vaginas and dicks and boobs oh my”

  1. Kelly Says:

    i often yell that in costco too… and mandy slaps me around and malachi laughs and repeats everything i say… then when we get home we sit in time out with a bar of soap in our mouths….

    jk… i do love me some boobies… i mean pirates booty though!!

  2. Kelly Says:

    p.s… im sending a high five out to your vajay-jay!!

  3. Anonymous Says:

    LOL Casey is cute and you’re hilarious!!! I’m waiting for you on Saturday around 6-7 :)))

  4. kim Says:

    it probably doesn’t help that every time casey yells about wanting more booby i smile and say “that’s my boy!” – i’m such a proud mamma…

  5. Carrie Says:

    There is a candy in Mexico similar to a Starburst that is spelled Winis. Now in Spanish the i makes a long e sound so J. as a 2 year old would want…say it with me now….weenees.

    It’s not Chris Buttars that should have won the Worst Person in the World….it’s every person that voted for him!

  6. Doug Says:

    never tryed any store bought booby’s cant be better then the real thing

  7. the other Says:

    I agree with Carrie. Shame on all of the people that go into the voting booths and punch the straight Republican vote. Did half of them even know anything of Buttars (a.k.a. butt hairs).

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