We are in the midst of the potty “train.” First of all let me just say that whoever invented the little potty should be shot.
You know, the little potty, the one small toddlers use, get M&Ms for, get cheers of “you’re a big boy” and any other kudos you can imagine while the moms then take the little potty apart, dump the piss into the big potty, flush the big potty, run water in the bowl of the litttle potty, pour bleach or some other cleaner into the bowl of the little potty, wash, rinse, re-assemble. Only by this time, the new big boy is hollering, “Bopple Jew” which we all know around this place as apple juice, and the entire process repeats itself.
It’s disgusting! And I’ve only detailed the urine process. #2 (I’m trying to be less vulgar here) is worse. And the kid’s practicing learning the new skill so one doesn’t want to restrict liquids which makes for a whole lotta sticky – wet – attach itsef to the bowl of the little potty stuff that again, the moms get to deal with.
I’ve been begging for the last year for this child to potty train. And here we are in the midst of success and it’s all I can do not to vomit. (But I am so proud.)
It’s no wonder the kid is so confused.
A while back we bought him a train set – a knock off wooden Thomas set because the real Thomas sets cost a whole lot more than these mamas are willing to pay – and told him he could get a piece of the set every time he used the restroom “like a big boy.” The kid is obsessed trains so we decided to use that as bribery motivation for a job well done.
So last Saturday Casey decided it was time to actually get a piece of the set. And his manipulation of the mamas began immediately. At first I though he had a urinary tract infection. He had to go every 20 minutes. And he’d just dribble a little, retrieve his train piece, go play in his room for a few minutes, announce he needed to go with the urgency expected when one is just learning to potty train. We’d stop what we were doing, run into the living room (I know – that’s disgusting – but that’s where he wanted to set up his potty) and help him get all situated all for a little dribble which was sometimes not even enough to set off the “royal tune” which plays everytime the sensor at the bottom of the bowl get covered. Yah, I know, parents who spend $40 on royal tune potty chairs are probably the ones who should be shot. But we were desperate. Ok. Desperate.
This kid was playing us. And at the end of the weekend, he had almost a 1/4 of the train set.
So we cut him off. We announced that he would only receive train pieces for going on the big potty. This weekend we’re learning that he can make dribbles in the big potty just as easily as he can the little potty. Its much less gross so I’m all for it, but the “potty train” is over 1/2 out of track and the trains as well as all the bigger pieces have all been claimed.
When the potty train is gone, will the kid be potty trained? Or will we be heading to the local toy store?