I just had to name this post “Boobs” mainly because whenever I use the word at all, my stats go up astronomically with all the google searches for boobs that must occur daily.  I love the ego boost.  And then there’s this side of me that smirks at the thought of some internet porn junkie sitting down with his search terms all ready and then getting all pissed off when he gets to my blog instead of his porno site – because Dammit, this blog doesn’t even have pictures!

Actually, it is rather unfair of me to be posting about this news now, as the drama is all over.  But now that it is over, I realize just how worried I have been this week.

So the news is I don’t have cancer.  And I knew I didn’t have cancer.  But I also knew that Riley was a little girl at 15 weeks pregnant so I’m not so successful on the oracle front.

Just over a year ago I found a breast lump.  Actually, I found a lump the summer of 2006 and had it biopsied and it wasn’t cancer so we just left it – all biopsied and non-cancerous right there just above the areola on my right breast.  But then last summer I noticed a new lump right next to the old lump.   I went to the Dr. to get it removed but insurance gave me grief.  First they said they wouldn’t pay for surgery because they believed that it was the former 2006 breast lump I wanted removed.  So the radiologist took a new ultrasound and showed that there were 2 lumps in there.  Then, insurance said that they’d pay to remove the 2008 lump but not the 2006 lump.  But at that point, the Dr. wanted the 2006 lump – though biopsied and non-cancerous to be removed at the same time as the 2008 lump.  Insurance called it a pre-existing condition and wouldn’t do it until I had the insurance for a year.  Shortly after that I ended up leaving my job which meant that I lost insurance.  I got new job/ new insurance in January and intended to get the lump out right away but then was informed that my new policy had – that’s right – a pre-existing clause to it as well.  So I waited the required six months and then made an appointment with an AMAZING breast surgeon who agreed that we needed to get both lumps out.  She also said that I needed to have a mammogram and another ultrasound as a “Baseline” so that in the years ahead of me, we’d have films that would show what these babies looked like when I was 35.  Well, mammography showed 5 (yes 5!) breast lumps, not just the 2 that I knew about.  And because of my age, and the look of the lumps, the doc wanted to remove all 5 lumps, so on Monday that is just what I did.

I thought the news that I had 5 lumps might swing in my favor as I asked hopefully, “Can’t you just chop ’em off?  I’m done nursing my babies.  Let’s just get ’em both and end this once and for all.”

The doc insisted that there was no need for “extreme measures.”

Extreme Measures.  I can’t even count the number of people I know who have suddenly had a double D package where a mere B existed before and no doc is saying, “I’m sorry.  I can’t perform that procedure.  There is no need for “Extreme Measures.”

So, Monday morning I went under general anesthesia and had 3 lumps removed from my right breast and 2 removed from my left, and I was told that the pathologist would biopsy the lumps and I’d hear in about a week whether they were benign or not.

The surgery went well and they sent me home with the same pain pills I got after my C-Section.  I thought it seemed pretty excessive, but by Monday night, I was happy for the pills.  I’ve been healing fine though and have had a lot of visits and help from friends since Kim is out of town at a conference.

Then, on Thursday night the phone rang.  The woman identified herself as being from the cancer hospital and my stomach immediately lunged into my chest.

“Why would the hospital call late on Thursday night?” I asked myself.

“Because you’re dying of cancer.” I answered myself.

I squeaked some sort of greeting then she informed me that all of the lumps were benign and how she wanted to call me right away so I didn’t have to keep worrying about it.

Worrying about it.  Worrying about it.  I realized that I had been worrying about it.  But no more, these uneven, dented, bruised, stitched, and scarred puppies are cancer free.


4 Responses to “Boobs”

  1. Carrie Says:

    We’re so happy you are healthy! Love you.

  2. Sheri Says:

    Wow! I am so happy that is over! How scary for you. And how frustrating about the garbage you went through over insurance! I am so sick of insurance companies running the health care system in the country. This country should really be ashamed of itself.

    stay healthy!

  3. Kelly Says:

    love you. and your boobs…

  4. The other sister Says:

    I hate it when boobs are a pre-existing condition. I’m thankful your cancer free and love you. Can’t wait to see you all for thanksgiving.

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